Can't Wait to Get Going, but Not Quite Ready to Leave

Posted on April 11,2013 by jackieqmspp

I'm going to have some real talk with you guys tonight.

This move that Ben and I have lined up is taking a toll on me already. We've had a few moving companies come by to give us estimates and I've started our to-do lists and that stuff I can handle. I'm good with lists and getting stuff done.

It's the emotional side of things that's hard. This town that Ben and I are living in right now, it's 20 minutes from where I grew up. I spent my childhood years right up the road with my mom, dad, brother and sister. As my teenage years rolled up, so did a new step-family and a new home to live in. My college years were spent just 30 minutes from this new home and I saw my immediate family members at least twice a month, and my extended family almost as much. My grandma is one of my favorite people in the world and someone that I hope to grow up to be like.

It's hard to leave that. I'm emotional this week and tears are coming to my eyes just thinking about this. My little sister came over this week to help me go through clothes and determine what I should give away. As I was trying clothes on, we were catching up on life, cracking jokes and sharing advice. At one point, we were literally laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. How am I supposed to leave that? She's my best friend. I'm not sure how I'm going to leave my favorite people, even though I'm moving with my absolute favorite person.

I guess this is part of growing up. This is what I wanted all along: a graduate degree in Student Affairs (hey MSPP!) so I could earn a good job in the south working in a Residence Hall. I know I still haven't shared exactly where we're going, but I promise that it's a good opportunity. But it's far. It's $400 plane ticket away or 24 hours of driving far. It's far in a way that I know I'll be homesick even when I'm settled and happy.

I'm trying to focus on the good parts. I'm trying to be thankful for this opportunity and remember that anywhere I go with Ben will be my new home and that he's my new family. But growing up is hard, guys.